We’re in the final countdown of the holidays! I’ve been waiting all year to share with you one of my favorite happiness “exercises” and a fabulous holiday story. Now’s the perfect time because they both point to the importance of perspective.

If you think about it, all the gifts, parties, and holiday fuss boil down to one thing: expressing our love for family and friends. So why not cut to the chase and give the gift of love directly? Try this exercise and see what I mean.

While sitting together around the dining table or in your living room, take turns telling one person what it is you most appreciate about them. At our holiday gathering for example, we started with my mother, telling her one heartfelt quality we most valued about her such as “you’re so generous,” “you really let me know you care,” and “you always make me laugh.”

Once we filled my mother’s heart, it was on to my sister, then my brother—around the table went the love. We each had our moment to receive.

I guarantee that this holiday version of the appreciation game will create memories you won’t soon forget.

A Happy for No Reason Holiday Story

Speaking of unforgettable, if you’ve been around children at Christmas, you’ll know why I was so touched by the following story told by a young father, one of my “Happy 100″ who I interviewed for Happy for No Reason:

When my oldest daughter, Victoria, was almost three, we read Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas every night to her before the holiday.

She’d curl up beside me as I’d read: “Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT!”

Victoria followed along as the Grinch unveils his plans to ruin the Christmas of the Whos. Disguising himself as Santa and his dog as a reindeer, the Grinch steals into the Whos’ homes and takes everything, leaving only the hooks and wires on the bare walls. But to his surprise, the Whos remain happy despite the loss of the presents and trees and trimmings and trappings.

He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming; “it came just the same.”

On that Christmas morning, we woke just ahead of Victoria so that we could watch her three-year-old enthusiasm as she saw the presents under the tree. She first ran to the kitchen table where she had left a snack for Santa and his reindeer. She looked at the evidence of Santa’s visit: the cookie crumbs on the plate and the empty milk glass and the missing carrots. My wife, pregnant with our second child, and I beamed seeing our daughter so wide-eyed and excited at the thought that Santa himself had been in our home. Next, she ran into the living room and saw the presents under the tree.

We expected her to dive into them — but she didn’t. She held up her little hand and she said, “Stop. Let’s pretend. Let’s pretend the Grinch has been here and took everything and left just hooks and wires and we’d still be happy.

So we stopped, and were happy. And like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day.

May our hearts never stop growing — this holiday and every day! That’s how to make our holidays “holy” days.

Happily,

Marci

If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day—go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month—get married.
If you want happiness for a year—inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime—help someone else.
– Chinese Proverb

About a year ago my long-time hairdresser, Sue, came into a windfall of money and decided to retire after many years of hard work. I was happy for her, but concerned for me—she was the only person I’d found in my area who could perform miracles with my “challenging” hair. As a favor, Sue generously offered to continue doing my hair at her home (an offer she extended only to me and her psychiatrist!).

At first she would accept no payment, and I felt uncomfortable without some kind of exchange. Eventually we decided that the money I would normally give her would instead go to Operation Smile, an organization that provides free surgery to correct children’s cleft palates, cleft lips, and facial deformities.

For only $240, we would buy a child a smile. Over the past year, Sue’s care of my hair has changed the lives of 16 children all over the world. Sue feels great knowing that every time she picks up that blow dryer, she is helping to make a child smile.

Does giving make you happier?

There are two types of giving: of money and of your time and service. Both will make you happier. Giving as little as $5 is enough to boost happiness in a given day. A recent study found that people report significantly greater happiness when they spend money “pro-socially” (on gifts for others or charity) instead of on themselves, which had no significant impact on how happy they were. And one of the longest-running studies on happiness, started in the 1920s, showed that teens who gave time to serve others were healthier and happier fifty to sixty years later.

As Albert Schweitzer, the great physician and humanitarian said, “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”

Your giving prescription Every day for the next few weeks look for some way to help someone. It doesn’t have to be a big “cause.” It can be as simple as giving someone a ride or reaching out to a person who needs some loving attention. Have an attitude of service, and make a contribution anywhere you can.

You have many chances each day to make a difference in someone’s life. And when you do, you make a difference in your own life, too.

Happily,

Marci

We are living in truly amazing times.

I believe that the excitement surrounding Happy for No Reason and so many people’s desire to experience happiness at a deep level of consciousness, rather than a superficial one, is another indication of this time of awakening. Experiencing this more profound state of happiness starts by recognizing how the two basic energies in life, contraction and expansion, affect you.

When you’re in a state of contraction, you’re living from the ego–the limited personality or the “small self.” The ego sees opposition, believes there is much to be feared, and resists what is. When you’re in a state of expansion, you’re living from the soul or “big Self”–the essence of who we are. When you live, breathe, and move in the direction of expansion, you’ll feel more connected to the universe and to the flow of life around you.

Shift your perspective to ask better questions You can better access this state of expansion by shifting your perspective and asking a different question. Eckhart Tolle says that after he experienced a big transformation in his life, he no longer asked, “What do I want out of life?” which is a question of the small self. Instead, he began asking, “What does life want of me?” which is a question of the big Self.

In the weeks ahead, as you go through each day, take a moment to stop your normal planning and list making, and connect with something deeper inside yourself. Shift your perspective by asking, “What does life want of me? Where am I being moved right now?” Then, favor the activities, thoughts, and inclinations that give you a feeling of expansion. Let yourself be moved by the big Self.

In my case, life recently moved me back to The Today Show. I got a call out of the blue one afternoon last week and was on a plane flying out to the studio in New York the following morning.  When I became restless on the flight home, I went to the back of the plane to stretch. I struck up a conversation with a flight attendant who was reading a book about the Law of Attraction.

Life in the flow “Since seeing The Secret and working with the Law of Attraction, I have felt moved to be in certain places at certain times, as if I’m being led through my day,” she said. She told me about all the synchronicities that have led her to meaningful and exciting projects since she’s opened up to a larger dimension of life. She’s been inspired to start up an innovative recycling program, she’s parenting differently, and she has new job opportunities landing in her lap.

When her originally scheduled flight had been canceled earlier that day, she took it in stride. “I just thought I’d probably be on a flight with someone I was supposed to meet,” she explained.  She was so excited when I invited her to be interviewed for my next project. Instead of resisting the universe, she’s opened herself to its flow. So, how do you know if you’re doing what life wants of you? Keep paying attention to where and toward what you’re being moved, and you’ll be tapping into your soul’s current.

Happily,

Marci Shimoff

Dear Readers,

Everyone wants to be happy, but what if you have illness, chronic disease or pain? Can physical discomfort and happiness co-exist?

What I found from my interviews with the Happy 100 is that they can. Recently, I discussed this subject with Montel Williams when I taped a special episode of his show devoted entirely to happiness. (This episode of The Montel Williams Show airs Wednesday March 12-click here to find the time and channel in your area: http://www.montelshow.com .)

I co-hosted the show as part of Montel’s Living Well series, designed to help people live their best life possible. I was excited to talk about the concept of Happy for No Reason with Montel, who himself was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) in 1999 and knows firsthand how to find well-being in the midst of physical challenges.

On the show, Montel shared his own personal journey with me about his daily struggle to not give in to his negative voice-the one that would have him give up and lose touch with his joy and his passion. Each day he has to choose in favor of his spirit and remind himself that he can rise above the condition of the body by engaging what is even more powerful: his heart, his soul, and his commitment to life.

Montel is truly inspiring. He has found a way to manage his disease and lead a remarkable life — while helping others do the same. It was a joy just to be with him.

Montel’s message aligns with Happy for No Reason. As you raise your “happiness set-point,” and you became anchored to the steady state of peace and well-being inside, your whole experience of life, including your body, shifts. When you’re in pain, it doesn’t overshadow your entire being. Even in the midst of discomfort, there can be freedom. Here’s one thing you can do when your body’s hurting: It’s a simple exercise called “being with the body” that I learned many years ago from a special teacher of mine.

When we’re in pain or discomfort, we usually tense around it and try to ignore it or distract ourselves. Unfortunately, this tends to make things worse. So, the next time you feel your head pounding, stomach aching, knee throbbing, or some other physical complaint, close your eyes and gently put your attention on the area of discomfort.

Breathe deeply into the area, consciously relaxing your muscles around the pain. Just having your loving awareness on and breathing into the part of your body that is calling out for your attention will significantly shift your experience.

This is one more way to stabilize that state of Happy for No Reason in your life. As Montel says, “Living Well means doing everything I want to be able to do with the body and the mind God gave me. . . to make each day the best it can be.”

Happily,

Marci Shimoff