This week I was given a challenging assignment: Write a 400-word description of what is most meaningful to me and how I live in alignment with that daily. My answer is going to be included in a book with responses from 100 other people, including Desmond Tutu, Jean Houston, and Deepak Chopra. Talk about a writer’s dilemma! How do you sum up what’s most important in just 400 words? Well, here’s what I came up with…

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to live a meaningful life. I’ve spent a lot of money attending seminars and a lot of hours engaging in practices to help me live my best life. From all of my inquiry, I can summarize what I’ve found to be most important in one word: Love.
Yes, I know, that’s not very original. But ultimately, that’s what life boils down to: The whole purpose of being alive is to grow in the ability to give and receive love.

I don’t mean Hollywood or Hallmark kind of love, but unconditional love–love as a state of being, the essence of who we are–what I call “love for no reason.”

I’ve read numerous accounts of near-death experiences and most include a “life review.” Many say that during this review, they were asked only two questions: How well did you learn your life lessons? And how much did you love?

It seems that love is our main job here on earth!

So if love is our job description, then the most important thing we can do is to find that ocean of love within us and bring it to the world–to ourselves, to our loved ones, to strangers we pass in the street, to everyone and everything.

There are a number of things I do on a day-to-day basis to connect with that essence of love inside. See how they might help you “practice love” in the world.

1. Take time daily for silence through mediation, prayer, or walks in nature. I’ve been meditating since I was 16 years old, and it helps me connect to the universal field of love within.

2. Move your body. When I get the energy flowing in my body, through dance, hiking, or any physical movement, I feel more vital, alive, and loving.

3. Throughout the day, ask yourself the question, “What’s the most loving thing I can do right now?” The answer may be to stay up late to finish a project or to pamper yourself with a bath-to help a friend or to say no to someone’s request.

4. Trust that this is a friendly, loving universe and that life is on your side, just as Einstein suggested. Believing that it is helps me welcome everything that happens, however challenging, as a gift to support my opening to love.

If “how much did you love” is part of life’s final exam, maybe it’s a good idea to prepare now to answer that question well. I don’t think this is the kind of test we can cram for at the end!

Happily yours,

Marci

I had an impromptu potluck dinner party with some longtime friends the other night, and I still feel high as a kite. And, it wasn’t the wine–it was the conversation!

We started the evening joking around and chatting about what was new in our lives, but at some point, the conversation turned to what was truly important to us: our hopes and dreams and fears. We told stories, shared what we were most excited about, and learned things about each other and ourselves that we had never known before.

By the end of the evening, there was so much love in the room! We felt like family (a non-dysfunctional one!). We had opened up, shared ourselves, listened to each other, and really connected. And our hearts were overflowing with happiness.

We were living proof of a recent study showing that people who spend more time having deep discussions and less time engaging in small talk seem happier. As humans, says Matthias Mehl, a psychologist at the University of Arizona, we are driven to find and create meaning in our lives, and we want and need to connect with other people.

While feeling connected with others is clearly part of the happiness equation, our crazy, busy lifestyles leave us feeling unconnected, isolated, and alone. But, as the saints and sages tell us, on the deepest level we are actually all one. The more deeply we open up to others and connect in meaningful ways, the more we erase the distance between us.

Now, we don’t have to be deep and philosophical all the time. I love an occasional read of People magazine and enjoy chatting with friends about goings on around town. But have you ever noticed how you feel after a gossip fest? I usually walk away from those conversations feeling a bit crummy. I love this anonymous saying:

Great minds talk about ideas.
Average minds talk about events.
Small minds talk about people.

There’s certainly more happiness in being great than in being small–and that’s something we can cultivate. If you find yourself interacting superficially with others, try something new. One on one or in a group, explore big issues and share what’s true for you. Notice how when you go deep, others will join you there.

Try this out and see how you feel:

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In your one-on-one conversations or in a gathering of people, throw out a question such as:

What are you most excited about in your life right now?
What is your biggest dream for the next 5 years?
What has been your most fulfilling experience in your life so far?

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Listen to what people have to say. Hear them with your heart and feel the connection.
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Notice and appreciate the ways in which you are different from others, and especially notice the ways in which you are similar.

When I was younger I loved a glitzy party with lots of flashy clothes and sparkling wit. Now I care most about having that sparkle in my heart.

Have more heart-to-heart conversations and enjoy the happiness of feeling connected. If our paths should cross in person someday, I look forward to asking you, “What are you most excited about in your life, right now?”

Happily yours, Marci