“ Open the window in the center of your chest, and let spirit fly in and out.”
– Rumi, 13th century mystic poet

The holiday season is considered the season of love. But the question is:  Are you feeling it? Though it’s the time when we gather with friends and family, put our attention on giving, and donate our time or money to those in need, it can also be a season of high stress.

Every year, I go into this season with mixed feelings. While I love the spirit of openness, love, and giving, I also feel the pressures of the season. Right now, in particular, I feel the sadness of missing my friends who passed away this year and certainly missing my parents.

So how can you and I experience the upcoming weeks with love? By consciously opening our hearts—an open heart is truly the way to experience the juiciness and joy of this season.

I’ve been so fortunate to have spent the past two years interviewing 150 Love Luminaries for my upcoming book, Love for No Reason. I’ve seen how they keep their hearts open in all circumstances and seasons. (You’ll hear much more about the exciting launch of the book in the next few weeks.)

From these interviews and additional research, I discovered some great tools for living with unconditional love, which I share in the book.

In the meantime, here are a few tips to help you keep your heart open during this holiday season:

1. Let Love In. Receiving from others is an act of love and connection that opens your heart—and benefits your body. Research shows that when you receive, your levels of serotonin, the neurotransmitter of well-being and happiness, rise just as much as when you give.

When someone offers you a gift—whether in the form of a present, a compliment, or some assistance—graciously receive it. Smile and say thank you, while letting their loving intention sink deeply into your heart. Truly register and savor the feeling of appreciation.

2. Anchor Yourself in Safety. Feeling stressed, unsupported, or fearful essentially takes love off-line. It’s impossible to activate the physiology of unconditional love when you’re experiencing stress and your body is in fight or flight. To quickly switch out of stress mode, take a few deep breaths and consciously relax your pelvic floor, located at the base of your body. This kick-starts your parasympathetic system and sets the stage for what mind/body health expert Dr. Eva Selhub calls your body’s “love response.”

3. Plug into a Larger Heart. Love thrives when we feel at peace inside. During the hectic holiday time, recharge your spiritual batteries by investing even just a little time each day in silence, meditation, or prayer. Tapping into this inner wellspring of spirit connects you to the energy of unconditional love and boosts your capacity to experience Love for No Reason by a factor of infinity. (It also helps you stay centered when dealing with any challenging family members—if you happen to have any of those.)

May your holidays be filled with the gifts of an open heart and the true spirit of the season.

With love for no reason and every reason,

Marci Shimoff

P.S. I invite you to follow me on Twitter: @Marci_Shimoff.

Happy New Year!

I love January—with its wonderful feeling of a fresh new start. And, it came just in the nick of time. . .

For me, 2008 was no ordinary twelve months: My book Happy for No Reason topped many bestseller lists and was translated in 28 languages. I did a PBS TV show, a new Happy for No Reason personal learning course, and over 200 interviews and teleseminars, including a number of national TV appearances. In addition, I gave speeches all over North and South America, flying over 200,000 miles during the year.

But all this came at a price—to my balance, health, and some of my own “happiness.”

By December I was suffering from a classic case of workaholism. I’d become addicted to my crazy schedule, working long hours and not getting enough exercise and rest. While ignoring my own needs, I became grumpy, stressed, and depleted.

There I was, “the happy for no reason lady” not walking my talk. (Can you relate? I imagine so. From all I see, workaholism is a cultural epidemic.) So I decided to do something about it.

A few days before New Year’s I marched myself off to a retreat center in a redwood forest for a five-day ayurvedic cleansing and detoxification program (a holistic health program that originated in India thousands of years ago). My ayurvedic doctor gave me numerous instructions, including that I go on an “electronics fast” from the computer, telephone, and TV. Fortunately, there was no reception where I was staying, so I couldn’t cheat.

Oh my goodness. What silence.

I finished the retreat ready to keep the resolutions I would make during my annual New Year’s Eve ritual. Each December 31st at 11:30 p.m., Sergio and I speak aloud the habits, thoughts, and behaviors we want to let go of from the past year and state our vision and intentions for the coming year. Then we meditate the New Year in.

Having started with a clean slate, I’m finding it so much easier to make the good habits stick.

Are you in need of a clean slate too—but don’t have the time or opportunity right now to take off for a retreat? Don’t be discouraged. Retreats and cleanses come in many forms. Here are a few options to experiment with:

1. Do a one-day retreat this weekend. Take an “electronics fast,” avoiding all TV, computer, and telephone contact. The world will not fall apart. Ideally, spend the day in silence, either in nature or in a favorite spot that helps you turn inward. If you have child care obligations, find a friend who will take turns looking after the children, and trade off taking your retreats
2. Do a physical cleanse. Find one that will work for you (check with your doctor, if necessary). It can be as simple as doing a liquid diet for one day—soups, fresh juices, herbal teas, and water. This is a great way to give your digestive system a little R & R.
3. Do a “worry detox.” Take one day to become conscious of your repetitive worries and anxieties. Each time you notice one, write it on a slip of paper and put it in a bag. At the end of the day have a little “worry bonfire” and let your concerns go up in smoke. If a fire isn’t possible, feed your worry slips to the paper shredder. In either case, you’ve made a conscious intention to let them go.

With this great start to the new year, you’ll be on your way
to a happy for no reason 2009!

Happily,

Marci

We’re in the final countdown of the holidays! I’ve been waiting all year to share with you one of my favorite happiness “exercises” and a fabulous holiday story. Now’s the perfect time because they both point to the importance of perspective.

If you think about it, all the gifts, parties, and holiday fuss boil down to one thing: expressing our love for family and friends. So why not cut to the chase and give the gift of love directly? Try this exercise and see what I mean.

While sitting together around the dining table or in your living room, take turns telling one person what it is you most appreciate about them. At our holiday gathering for example, we started with my mother, telling her one heartfelt quality we most valued about her such as “you’re so generous,” “you really let me know you care,” and “you always make me laugh.”

Once we filled my mother’s heart, it was on to my sister, then my brother—around the table went the love. We each had our moment to receive.

I guarantee that this holiday version of the appreciation game will create memories you won’t soon forget.

A Happy for No Reason Holiday Story

Speaking of unforgettable, if you’ve been around children at Christmas, you’ll know why I was so touched by the following story told by a young father, one of my “Happy 100″ who I interviewed for Happy for No Reason:

When my oldest daughter, Victoria, was almost three, we read Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas every night to her before the holiday.

She’d curl up beside me as I’d read: “Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT!”

Victoria followed along as the Grinch unveils his plans to ruin the Christmas of the Whos. Disguising himself as Santa and his dog as a reindeer, the Grinch steals into the Whos’ homes and takes everything, leaving only the hooks and wires on the bare walls. But to his surprise, the Whos remain happy despite the loss of the presents and trees and trimmings and trappings.

He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming; “it came just the same.”

On that Christmas morning, we woke just ahead of Victoria so that we could watch her three-year-old enthusiasm as she saw the presents under the tree. She first ran to the kitchen table where she had left a snack for Santa and his reindeer. She looked at the evidence of Santa’s visit: the cookie crumbs on the plate and the empty milk glass and the missing carrots. My wife, pregnant with our second child, and I beamed seeing our daughter so wide-eyed and excited at the thought that Santa himself had been in our home. Next, she ran into the living room and saw the presents under the tree.

We expected her to dive into them — but she didn’t. She held up her little hand and she said, “Stop. Let’s pretend. Let’s pretend the Grinch has been here and took everything and left just hooks and wires and we’d still be happy.

So we stopped, and were happy. And like the Grinch, my heart grew three sizes that day.

May our hearts never stop growing — this holiday and every day! That’s how to make our holidays “holy” days.

Happily,

Marci

← Previous Page