Aaaah, I love these summer months. One of my favorite things to do is to take long hikes in nature. I’m in bliss walking through the beautiful redwood forests of Northern California (if you’re ever in Northern California or Oregon, you must go to visit the amazing redwood trees).

I particularly appreciated my hike this last weekend, after returning from a week in Taipei, Taiwan. Taipei is a crowded city, with high humidity in the summer. While I loved the people there and had a fantastic time giving a Happy for No Reason workshop to about 500 participants, I returned home craving nature.

So on my long hike on Saturday, I found myself wanting to take in as much fresh air as I could. But I had a hard time on the difficult uphill section–I was out of breath and gasping for air.

Then I remembered the advice of my good friend, Dr. John Douillard, who said that when you breathe in and out through your mouth you’re exhausting and aging yourself. Years ago he taught me a different way to breathe that increases energy, reverses aging, and promotes greater happiness and well-being.

John called it “Darth Vader” breathing, because when you’re doing it right, you sound just like the Star Wars character. In yoga circles it’s called “Ocean Breath” (it also sounds like the ocean) or ujjayi pranayama, which translates as “the breath that gives victory over fear.” I call it bliss breathing, because it always makes me feel joyful.

John recommends breathing this way while meditating, sitting at your desk, or exercising, so I tried it during my hike. I quickly noticed I was no longer out of breath, and I was feeling more energy-even though I was trudging up a steep hill. Within minutes, I felt a bliss that lasted throughout the day. It worked!

Modern scientific studies are now catching up with ancient wisdom showing that breathing properly can make us feel good-fast. Darth Vader breathing creates a healing response in the body. As the lungs absorb more oxygen, circulation and metabolism improve. This increases your overall life energy.

So anytime you’re feeling down or sluggish, try Darth Vader breathing. It’s easy but powerful. Here’s how:

1. Start by inhaling and exhaling through your mouth, pulling the air from the back of the throat to make it sound like Darth Vader. You will feel the back of the throat slightly constricting. (You can also imagine you’re fogging up a pair of glasses.

2. Once you get the hang of the sound, close your mouth, and continue inhaling and exhaling in the same way. Take slow and deep breaths. When you’re doing it correctly, you’ll hear the breath coming in and going out. This is the sound people make right before they go to sleep, when they are very relaxed.

Whether you’re on a wonderful summer hike (or winter hike for those in the southern hemisphere), exercising at your gym, or just sitting at home or work, practice breathing your way to greater happiness, love, and bliss!

With love for no reason and every reason,

Marci

What’s the #1 ingredient for a happy life? Scores of studies show that the greatest predictor for happiness is the quality of your relationships and your social support system.

We human beings — social animals — are hardwired such that family, tribe, and a sense of belonging are key to our well-being.

I recently saw a wonderful new documentary film called Happy (which I was honored to be the narrator for), that underscored this. Roko Belic, the film’s creator, traveled around the world to find the sources of happiness for people in many different cultures. It was stunning to see how families and communities in Louisiana, Norway, Okinawa, India and the Masai tribe of Africa all shared this same basic need for belonging.

It made me stop and think about my own “families.” There are many “family systems” that we belong to — among them are our birth family, our soul family, our work family, our community family, and our world family. But let’s look at the two that most directly impact our day-to-day happiness: our birth family and our soul family.

First, birth family. Aah, this interesting collection of people you ended up being related to. In the ideal world, your family is made of people with whom you share unconditional love. They’re the ones who stick by you through thick and thin. They’re also the people who can present to you your biggest life lessons (not always fun, but important nonetheless).

I’m more aware than ever of my need for this family. Now that both my parents are gone and I’m single, in my fifties, and with no children, I’m deeply appreciating the family that I have.

Over twenty years ago, my wise parents began a wonderful family tradition. Every year starting when my nephews and niece were quite young, they would take my brother and sister and their families and me on a big family vacation. It didn’t really matter where we went, just that we were experiencing an adventure together. Since we didn’t live near each other, this is how I got to know my nephews and niece.

We decided to keep up the tradition even though our parents are gone. I’m on the plane right now flying home from our latest family adventure in Quebec, and my eyes are filled with tears of gratitude to my parents for having started this tradition. We aren’t a perfect family — we certainly have our “stuff,” but we’re there for each other, and I feel fortunate.

And then there’s the soul family — this is the family you selected because your spirit resonates with them. They’re the people with whom you share a similar vision and values.

One of my favorite things to do is have my soul family over for dinner and games. (They’ve nicknamed me the “queen of Whole Foods take-out” since I ask them over for dinner but never really cook for them.)

Throughout your life, your soul family may change as you change and grow, but they’re the ones who really “get” who you are.

Here are a few things you can do to savor your families:

1. Appreciate your birth family. Focus on forgiveness where you need to. Remember that if you have issues and resentment with any family members, it’s hurting you much more than it is hurting them. You forgive for your sake. (My favorite forgiveness practice is the Ho’oponopono technique that I describe in Love for No Reason).

2. Stay connected with your soul family. Call them, write them a sweet email, find out what’s up with them.

3. Take time to experience life adventures with each of your families. It doesn’t have to be a huge deal. If they live nearby, take an afternoon to go on a hike or have a picnic. If they don’t live nearby, enjoy the time you do get to spend together-have fun!

Recently I came across this quote and was surprised to see that it was by Albert Einstein: “Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!”

With love for no reason and every reason,

Marci

Have you have ever felt so distraught over someone else’s circumstances that your own health (and your life) started to unwind? Maybe you’ve seen this in people who are helping care for a sick friend or an elderly parent. Or perhaps you’ve seen it in people doing charity work in impoverished countries? The phrase for this is called “overcare.”

When we feel guilt and distress over not being able to do enough for others, and we start ignoring our own needs, we lose touch with the true and healthy love we intend to give.

Does that mean it’s possible to love too much? No, the amount of love you give isn’t the issue. The better question is, is your love getting distorted?

In my book Love for No Reason, I tell the story of  Sheva Carr’s “recovery” from overcare. In the 1980′s, after living with and helping impoverished children in Nicaragua, Sheva had to leave the country for her own safety. Her feelings of guilt over abandoning those children and her worry about their continued plight manifested in extreme physical pain that she experienced for years. No amount of elaborate medical tests found a cause. It was only when Sheva learned some simple, but powerful techniques (from the Institute of Heartmath), that she was she able to let go of her guilt and live in appreciation and love — and when that happened, her physical symptoms reversed.

Many of us will never experience the type of circumstances that Sheva did in Nicaragua, but we may still be prone to give all of our emotional energy to taking care of others, and lose ourselves and our own health in the process. Here are three ways to keep you from falling into the trap of overcare:

1. Let go of being attached to a specific result: When you’re not attached to a particular outcome, you give freely and it’s more enjoyable and energizing. Whenever I give, I remind myself of a helpful formula I once learned: “High intention, low attachment.” Give with enthusiasm and trust the universe to take care of the results.

2. Don’t expect anything in return: When I interviewed Dr. Stephen Post, an expert in the field of altruism and compassion, he told me he learned a valuable lesson from the champions of compassion he’s interviewed over the years. “We can get hung up on keeping score of reciprocal responses, and that really limits us. It keeps us from being free to love in a way that is uncalculating. We just need to do what a mother I once interviewed tells her son to do, ‘Love, and forget about it.’”

3. Make sure that your giving doesn’t stress, drain, or weaken you: Healthy giving makes you feel good. Unhealthy giving, when you’re giving too much to others, will push you out of heart rhythm coherence and, over time, will take you from overcare to no care. The symptoms of no care, according to the Institute of HeartMath, are burnout, depression, resignation, or cynicism. Paying attention to the signals your body is sending will help you to recognize and reverse these symptoms before they take their toll on you.

Kindness, care and compassion are great expressions of love. Just make sure to take care of yourself in the process of giving to others, so that your good intentions keep you in the healthy giving zone.

With love for no reason and every reason,

Marci

P.S. Please join me on Facebook and let me know what you do to prevent overcare. Also, before you go, be sure to check out the announcements in the blue side bar.

photo from flickr



On a recent visit to my doctor, he asked me if I was doing each of the three important types of exercise — aerobics, strength and flexibility. I answered an enthusiastic yes to aerobics (I love my Zumba), a luke-warm nod to strength (I occasionally lift weights) and a definitive no to flexibility (my muscles are very tight and stretching is hard).

I started thinking about these three types of physical exercise, and I noticed the correlation to various mental/emotional states. While each form of exercise builds all of these qualities, they each have a specialty:

Read more

I’m hosting the an amazing teleseminar, the Love Your Life Summit: 10 Days of Healing & Transformation from June 2-11.

It all begins on June 2 {And as soon as you confirm your FREE spot, we’ll share some exciting ways
to get you started right this minute!} Accept our offer and join us! We’ve already reserved your
FREE ticket, so all you have to do is confirm.

Do you want less stress? We’ll show you exactly how to get there.

How about sassy and spontaneous ideas for turning your typical day into a magnificent adventure? We’ll show you how to transform your to-do lists into “YES PLEASE!” lists.

Yep, even though we’ll take you deep, you’ll have a ton of fun in the process. No getting bored here! No fluffy theory you can’t back up with hard science and proven results, either. Oh and we’ve already reserved you a spot and you’re our guest FREE. All you have to do is confirm!

Our goal is to connect you with the pure love within – that power no one and no thing can take from you. We’ll connect you with our vivacious community of women who, just like you, are challenging themselves toward something greater. Together we are our own support system.

Watch my video and sign up now.

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